Not Another Mary Sue
by IHaveYourGoat
Summary: A no nonsense girl who is blissfully limited in her knowledge of ME, takes a bus to Rivendell. Yeah, you read that right.
1. Prologue thingy

Hey, let me know what you think. Dunno if I should continue this or not, just throwing it out there. Thanks. 3

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Prologue

First of all, my name is Emily Markings. Easy to pronounce and not some made up name that some fan girl  
obsessed with fancy elves took from another crazed fan girls story. However, that is the only thing separating me from the multitude of crazed MS'. Well, that and the fact that I cannot stand the lord of the rings. Don't get me wrong, the plot is awesome and all but I only saw the movie version…and the only thing appealing was Viggo Peter Mortensen Jr, scuffed up and looking manly; as well as the cute little hobbits with the tooth gaps and werewolf syndrome feet.

So…anyway, you're probably wondering how I ended up as a Mary Sue and in Middle Earth…*gasp*…well, here it is. I didn't die in some car accident, only to magically awaken in ME for a second chance at life, I wasn't imbued with awesome power and I didn't read a spell…nor did I pull a Narnia and go venturing through a closet. Oh, no, I didn't end up there in any of these ways.

No, I did the practical thing. I took a bus.

Now, yes, you're probably rereading that last sentence to make sure that the hours of guzzling Monsters and reading cliché fan fiction hasn't muddled up your brain….but I assure you. I went there by BUS. After taking in the information I have presented you have most likely moved on to your next train of thought…. WTF?

How does a girl travel from dimension to dimension, from time period to time period via a public transportation vehicle?

Haven't you seen 'Back to the Future'? It's totally possible… and if you think its not, take it up with Doc.

Now, I'm going off tangent. Again, my name is Elamaristagahno…no, I won't be that mean. My name is Emily Marking, I'm 18 with a degree in kick ass and film studies…self taught…and I work as a cashier at the local grocery store during my summers. However, I took a month off to visit my mom who happened to be in the next town over… a place that happened to be called Rivendell. Don't look at me like that, how was I supposed to know the bloody bus driver would happen to be a LOTR fanatic/time traveler?

Anyway, I guess we should start the retelling of how I came to be a Mary Sue. Ugh.


	2. Pirate Time Travelers, oh my

Hey, I decided to write another chapter. I was pimp slapped by Inspiration and decided to do as he said. Anyway, please review. It encourages me. Though I am flattered that some fav'ed and alerted it.

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"Boss, you owe me the day off."

The man behind the desk glowered at her over his cup of coffee and retorted, "Yes…a day. Not a MONTH."

Groaning, Emily ran a manicured hand through her cropped brown hair and plopped down on the edge of his Faux wood desk. "Come on, Hardy. You know I wouldn't normally ask for this amount of time! Meeting my mother is something that warrants this, though!" She pleaded with him, going for the puppy eye dog routine.

Usually that worked.

He shook his balding head stubbornly, though she saw he hesitated a bit.

"You took time off last week! That was ANOTHER emergency." Her boss told her, gulping his coffee and cursing when he spilled some on his smiley face tie. Dabbing at it with a paper napkin, he failed to see her change in mood.

Her smile dropped and she leaned towards him, glaring at him over her glasses. "Hey, I chipped a bloody nail! Do you think these things get this fabulous naturally?" she inquired, haughtily, flashing him her nails. He pushed her hand of glittering red out of his face and stared her down.

"I said, no, Miss. Marking, I just can't do it."

Slipping off the desk, she turned to face him and slowly he grew nervous as she remained immobile, staring him down unblinkingly. It was reminiscent of a predator staring down her prey, calculating the quickest way to sink her jaws in and stop its pulse.

_I didn't want to do this…but its time to bring the big guns in. _

Studying her nails, she inquired, casually, "How was your anniversary?"

He stared at her, confused by the sudden change of topic. "Um. It was alright."

She glanced at him through her auburn bangs, before returning to her examination of her manicure. "Did she like those amethyst earrings?"

He stared at her for a moment. "I don't quite understand what…" She stared at him and widened her eyes fractionally.

Immediately, he paled, and dropped his coffee cup on the desk.

"You wouldn't…"

Grinning wolfishly at him, she drawled, "I might."

"I didn't mean to forget our anniversary! I paid you for giving me your earrings!" he protested, his face mottled, mustache twitching in panic.

She rubbed her cheek, and nodded in acquiescence. "So you did…however, if I were to have a momentary lapse of moral judgment around...say your wife…"

Glaring at her from behind his glasses, he spat, "I can't believe you're blackmailing me! Fine, take the time off!"

Relapsing back into her sunny persona, she beamed at him as if nothing had occurred and skipped out of the office. "Thanks for being so understanding, boss!" she yelled back, slamming the door behind her.

He sat in the dim of his office, with a stained happy face tie, and a damaged mood.

"That girl will be the death of me." He muttered, unhappily, turning back to his paperwork.

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"So…ye be wanting to go to Rivendell, eh?"

She stared at the gristly, pirate sounding bus driver and nodded, uncertainly. "Um. Yes. I want to go to Rivendell."

"Ye be wantin' to go…to RIVENDELL, do ye?" he repeated, peering at her over a pipe of tobacco with a speculative gleam.

Her eye twitched and she clenched her hands agitatedly. "YES." She reiterated a bit more loudly,

Leaning in his chair he appraised her for a moment, puffing silently. As he did so, she contemplated his murder and the apprehending of his Grey Hound bus. He blew some smoke rings in her direction before opening his mouth again. "Aye…lass, ye wish to go to Rivendell, land of the fair folk, alright…"

Glaring, she growled, mimicking him, "Aye, I be wanting to go to Rivendell.'

He stared at her for a moment, and inquired around his pipe. "Why ye be speaking like a pirate?"

She blinked, and gaped at him, her mouth opening and closing. "But…you…"

"All aboard, lass, there be other people needing to go to other places."

Climbing aboard, she deposited the amount of money that she owed the bus driver before turning to claim a seat, grumbling. She paused and glanced at the bus driver over her shoulder, incredulously. He motioned impatiently for her to take a seat before starting off down the bumpy road. Making her way down the isle slowly to the very back of the EMPTY bus, she sat and proceeded to pull out her iPod to drown out the very loud, very obnoxious singing of the bus driver.

"Once there was a man goin' by Ol' Black Beard, sailed the ocean blue for a couple of beers, he met many an island and quite a few dears, but one lass in particular drew his fine leer! Yo ho! Yo ho!"

Grimacing, she turned up the volume and blaring Lillasyster into her ears, slumped down in her seat and allowed herself to drift away as the gentle rocking of the bus lulled her into a light slumber…

However her sleep was soon interrupted with the rocking grew ever more violent and a blinding light filled the bus. Her eyes flying open, she whipped her head up.

The bus driver was continuing to sing, as if nothing was amiss, however they seemed to be zooming through what looked to be a warp hole out a sci-Fi movie. The bus shook violently again and there was a loud creaking as if the bus fought to stay in one piece. She had the oddest sensation of being pulled in two different directions as she clung to the seat beneath her, fear filling every cell of her body.

"What the hell is going on?" she hollered out to the bus driver, another eruption of shaking making her shriek in surprise.

His singing ended abruptly and he looked up at her through the mirror, that odd gleam from earlier in his eyes again. "We be going to Rivendell, lass!" he crowed, speeding up as he whipped the wheel to the side. They burst out of the blinding, pulsing light and darkness flooded the bus as they seemed to fall into an endless abyss.

"Rivendell is only an hour away, you old cook! Where the hell are you taking me?"

He laughed fanatically, puffing crazily on his cob pipe, as they drove faster to another stream of light that was dimmer than the one they recently exited.

"SHIT SHIT SHIT!" she shouted as stars went streaking by in a blur of color. Her knuckles turned white as she clung to the seat and was pushed back against it by the force of the speed they were hurtling at.

"LAND HOOOO!" the crazed bus driver called out suddenly as the light ahead enveloped them.

There was a large crash as they landed on ground and went skidding a few feet before coming to a violent stop.

Almost immediately, the light dimmed until it was normal daylight and the sudden silence was filled with the sounds of wilderness and rushing water.

Releasing the seat with a wince when her fingers cracked, she sat up and looked forward through the windshield towards the scenery before them. It was as if they had stepped into a painting of nature…it was just too surreal.

Standing, her legs shaking with fear induced weakness, she stumbled down the isle holding onto the seatbacks for support until she was leaning against the driver's seat and peering over his shoulder.

"Oh…my god…" she mumbled in disbelief.

There was a rush of air as the bus door opened.

"First stop of the day…Rivendell!"

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Again, please review. I'll be posting the next chapter up probably tomorrow, or even later tonight if I am again Pimp Slapped by Inspiration.


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